"Even though one type will dominate as we begin studying ourselves using the tool of the Enneagram, all the fixations are present in every ego. . . if we are genuinely interested in spiritual learning and liberation though the Enneagram, we need to study all the fixations--their cores and their shells--as they manifest in our lives." A.H. Almaas, Keys to the Enneagram: How to Unlock the Highest Potential of Every Personality Type
The driving force at point Five is hoarding, which shows up particularly as a detachment from emotions, a "stinginess" of feelings.
When boxed in at point Five, we may sound as if we're giving a dissertation or seem disdainful of emotions, even if profound and passionate in debate. We're very independent here, preferring to be surrounded by highly capable people who need no direction or external reinforcement.
When still at point Five but more self-observing, we are able to take in the whole picture and integrate its components in creative ways, strategizing, envisioning possibilities, and influencing others through our knowledge.
"I have a really deep knowledge of this industry." "I hate having group meetings because they're generally a waste of time." "I have a good mind and I'm pretty perceptive." "I was a loner as a kid--I read a lot."
It's important that we learn to see our patterns as they emerge, without judgment, to notice and accept as they come and go without shame or denial or trying to shut them down, to see how the fixed personality reactions show up and choose different behaviors. From this Observing Self we'll begin to see the patterns loosening and dropping away.
Within that context, some actions that my clients and I have found helpful at point Five include:
- noticing when debating--then probing/listening more,
- seeking mutually satisfying solutions,
- being active in our role as coach or mentor or parent,
- giving attention to group process (meetings, teamwork, family gatherings),
- affirming others' positive efforts,
- acting on our thoughts/willingly sharing our knowledge,
- being more generous with our energy, allowing it to flow outward toward others,
- celebrating evidence of caring without feeling confined (nonattachment),