Saturday, July 14, 2018

Would You Like to Break Out of the Box?

Are you feeling the desire to move forward with new, freer choices? Are you curious about your personality's strengths and blind spots?
Like everyone else, you developed a box of habitual patterns as a child that help you cope, yet narrow your perspective and limit your options.

In My Blogs on the right you'll find suggestions to observe your personal responses without judgment, interrupt them in creative ways that invite more flexibility, and broaden your worldview.

After more than 35 years' experience, I still accept a few select clients. If you'd like to partner with me, let's explore that possibility together (click here for hours and contact information).

How I Work with Clients

Our approach is positive and we observe together what you say and do, in and between sessions, without judgment. If you're not receiving what you want from the coaching relationship, you tell me and we agree on how to make our work together as powerful as possible.

We are extremely flexible about our schedules. If you need to cancel, you can do so right up to the scheduled hour; on occasion I may need to do the same.

We engage in direct, truthful, and open conversations and collaborate to make the coaching relationship beneficial for both of us. Our approach is best described by the acronym "A.W.E":

Awareness of your unique patterns of motivation and behavior.

If you'd been hypnotized in a nightclub act to do something silly afterward at the hypnotist's command, would you then ask, "Why am I clucking like a chicken?" No. You volunteered to let someone make strong suggestions about your behavior. As a child you were even more suggestible. Read more... 

Watching, without judgment, how those patterns operate.

Instead of backing away from an aspect of yourself you don't like, get to know that troubling part and see what there is to learn. Read more...

Experimenting with pattern breaking to invite transpersonal change.

When you allow yourself to fully experience your typical reactions, you'll discover a new meaning for the baseball phrase, sweet spot. Read more...

Monday, July 9, 2018

Hours, Fees, Prepayment

I schedule appointments Monday - Thursday, U.S. Eastern, starting at 11 am and ending by 4 pm.

If we haven't yet talked, please confirm an introductory session with me by email before making payment. (Click here to send email.)

I'm in the U.S. Eastern time zone, so please calculate our time difference, request appointments in my time, and pay the day before our scheduled call.
  1. Introductory 1-hour call = $35
  2. Individual 1-hour call = $75
  3. Six 1-hour calls = $405 (10% discount)
  4. One 90-minute call = $112.50
  5. Four 45-minute calls = $240
Use this drop-down menu for one of the above standard payments:

Standard Payment Options

With ongoing clients we sometimes agree to a different amount. Use this drop-down menu for 3 one-hour calls, 1 half-hour call, or 6 half-hour calls:

Other Agreed-upon Amounts

Mary Bast

Tuesday, January 19, 2016


My Secret Weapon: Mary is my once-in-a-lifetime coach, adviser, reality-checker and sanity-preserver; the savviest coach I have ever met. As an executive coach with exacting standards and expectations, I would only work with someone who can wow me and take me further than I'd dare venture alone. I have seen my own coaching practice soar in the years I have been mentored by Mary. She is my secret weapon. Gilly Weistein, NYC

The Nudge That Allowed Me to Jump: Mary shares her wisdom generously, without a hint of coaching jargon. Working with her feels like a warm waltz that keeps twirling you back to yourself, no matter how much you may be tempted to settle for being a wall flower. I am deeply grateful for the nudge that allowed me to jump. Avivah Wittenberg-Cox, UK

Destiny-Shaping Experience:
 Working with Mary has been a destiny-shaping experience. We brainstormed behavior-altering ideas that have significantly improved my leadership execution. Evans Munyuki, Dubai

Refocused My Career: I am very grateful to Mary for listening, reflecting my thoughts with eerie accuracy, and keeping me focused on doing rather than analyzing. John D., U.S.

Helps Me Dive in When Stuck: Mary has a way of delving straight to the core and heart of an issue. Recognizing how to break through established habits turns out to be the secret to personal transformation. Even after I learned how to 'change one thing,' when I'm stuck Mary continues to help me dive into what that one thing might be, an art that seems always to benefit from an outside observer. Paul M. U.S. 

Discovering More of My Authentic Self: Mary is a wise and warm coach. She was very helpful in creating new perspectives by reframing what I brought to the calls. I discovered more of my authentic self, thanks to our rich sessions. Mary is also a great resource person. She has a wide palette to offer. Judy van Zon, Bangalore, Munich, Warsaw (Dutch nationality)

Achieving Life's Desires: I learned about Mary in 2008 through her book Out of the Box: Coaching with the Enneagram. She's a coach for those who know that achieving life's desires, through self-exploration and action, requires someone there for you over weeks and months. I highly recommend Mary. G.C., Canada 
The Only Method That Has Made Sense: Mary brought her life experience and passion for the Enneagram to our coaching sessions over three years. In 20 years of experimenting with various modalities of wisdom to make my life journey more purposeful, this is the only method that has truly made sense to me. Joanne McCombe, Australia 

An Ally Across the Atlantic: Mary has a wealth of experience and has been an immeasurable support to me. She created a safe, non-judgmental space in which I could explore some difficult and challenging personal issues. Both on the calls and between the sessions I felt her presence as an ally across the Atlantic. C.A., UK

I Felt Seen and Heard: Mary helped me define my business and supported me deeply. Her intellect, wit, experience, and breadth of knowledge made our talks a meeting of peers. She was a genius at helping me see things differently and discovering resources within myself. I became adept at self-coaching, which is a profound gift. Wm. P., U.S. 

A Great Friend: Mary has added so much value to my life and work that I count her as a great friend as well as coach. Pam Boney, CEO Tilt365, U.S.

Uniquely Qualified to Work with Senior Coaches: In her wisdom, maturity, warmth, professionalism and depth of understanding, Mary is uniquely qualified to work with senior coaches. Her gifts are exceptional and our partnership has made me a better coach, consultant and human being. Julie Mitchell, MA, Catalyst, Communicator, Consultant and Founder of CoachWalks, U.S.

Monday, January 18, 2016

About Coach Mary Bast and Out of the Box Coaching

Enneagram Coaching/Mentoring: Are you feeling stuck? With me, you'll quickly resolve short-term issues and experience transpersonal change as well as creative resolutions to life and work issues. Are you a coach looking for an Enneagram mentor? We can focus on your personal life, professional development, and/or coaching with the Enneagram (my Enneagram story).

Out of the Box Coaching: During the decade of executive coaching described below, it became clear that career success only scratched the surface of personal and spiritual development possibilities. Following a year of research and writing I launched Out of the Box Coaching in 1999 with my current approach to individual change. For more about my process, read "The Yin and Yang of Presence." 

Former Executive Coaching: Upon completing a PhD in 1982, I was promoted to Director of Executive Development for Federated Department Stores, managing a benchmark program to coach high-potential executives. In 1988 I started Bast Consulting, Inc., helping hundreds of executives attain desired positions, put failing careers back on track, clarify vision/strategy, and build more effective teams.

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Enneagram Style One Patterns

Description Self-observing people with these patterns can be wise, tolerant, balanced, and focused on standards of excellence in ways that provide an exemplary vision for others. In business organizations, they're often the purveyors of quality. When less well-developed, they show their perfectionism, with an internal judging voice that chastises them (or others) for falling short of perfection (preaching). In a very healthy individual, that voice invokes higher attainment (teaching). Their driving force is anger, typically over-controlled until it erupts as resentment when someone has failed to live up to their expectations. They're prone to moral tirades, yet they also show a "running amok" side that allows them to escape their own high standards. 

Typical Comments "I know I'm right, why should I have to compromise?" "I'm my own worst critic." "My whole career, I've been brought in to fix things." "My message as a kid was always, 'You can do better.'"  

First-Order Change De-potentiating their critical voice, allowing themselves to be wrong (see video below), techniques for channeling anger more effectively, learning to respond to criticism non-defensively, and moving away from black-and-white thinking with positive reframing and creative problem-solving. 

Second-Order (Transpersonal) Change Developing nuance and options. Patience, the willingness to accept conditions that don't conform to one's ideal. 

Friday, January 15, 2016

Enneagram Style Two Patterns

Description The most interpersonally oriented of all the personality styles, these can be unconditionally caring people who derive deep satisfaction from seeing and encouraging the development of others. In organizations, they're typically great supporters of customer service. When well-developed, they'll also be aware of their own needs, which provides balance in their lives and allows them to give freely, without expectation of return. Their driving force is pride, which is attached to their self-image as helper. People with this personality style tend to be in the middle of things, giving help and advice whether others want it or not. When less developed they have a sense of entitlement and can use manipulation to influence people. If they feel betrayed they may even become vindictive ("After all I've done for you!"). 

Typical Comments "I think it's important to always focus on what we need to be doing to serve others." "Was that helpful?" "Of all the people in the organization the President could have called, he called me." "Both of my parents were alcoholics, and I took care of them from a very early age." 

First-Order Change Acknowledging their own needs, seeing how they contribute to their own workload and saying no, setting clearer boundaries, and asserting their interpersonal power more directly. 

Second-Order (Transpersonal) Change Loving, giving without strings. Humility, which is true compassion without expectation.

(Click here for style Two instinctual subtypes)

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Enneagram Style Three Patterns

Description People with this personality style are often expansive go-getters. In organizations, they ensure high productivity. Formidable models for others, they're typically efficient and supremely goal-oriented; consequently, they tend to rise to the top in organizations, or to run their own companies. When under-developed they personify image-making, tending to self-promote and showcase themselves at the expense of others. When they look outward for their reflection in the eyes of others, their inner life can be lacking. This driving force is vanity, which shows up as self-deception (e.g., convincing oneself a failure to involve or credit others was not important because of the results achieved).

Typical Comments "I like seeing success breed upon success." "I've always been successful." "I have a shelf full of empty trophies." "I got pats on the back for doing well in school, and my parents made it clear what would be approved of." 

First-Order Change Learning to collaborate instead of compete, clarifying their own values/developing internal criteria (vs. external validation), learning from failure, and accessing feelings. 

Second-Order (Transpersonal) Change Inner-directed, communal. Authenticity, speaking from the essential self and not through personality needs. 

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Enneagram Style Four Patterns

Description People with this personality style are vital to the health of any group because they're able to view things from a new slant and aren't bound by tradition. They can keep an organization from slowly dying out of untested and outdated assumptions. More in touch with their feelings than other styles, they're in danger of sinking into moodiness if they meet with resistance to their ideas. The same talent that allows them to "look outside the box" can leave them wondering why they never see things the way others do, and subsequently to question if they're flawed. Their conversations are ripe with sad stories. Their driving force is envy, which shows up in dissatisfaction, a perception that "the grass is always greener somewhere else." 

Typical Comments "People call me because they know I'll come at things from a totally different angle." "I buy into the 'vale of tears' theory of life." "I seem to feel things more deeply than others." "I always felt like an outsider as a child." 

First-Order Change Focusing more on strengths and resources and less on the tragedy of life, learning to develop the possibilities of their current jobs, shifting their moods through physical exercise or creative outlets, reframing self-criticism in more positive ways, and championing a program or process they believe in. 

Second-Order (Transpersonal) Change Effective in external world. Equanimity, the ability to live fully in the present moment.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Enneagram Style Five Patterns

Description Because of their ability to take in the whole picture and integrate its components in creative ways, people with this personality style can be consummate strategists and visionaries. Often very bright, they're extremely capable of influencing others through their knowledge. Sometimes they sound as if they're giving a dissertation. Although they can be profound and passionate in debate, they tend to disdain the role of emotions in human interaction. They're the most independent of the nine styles and prefer to be surrounded by other highly capable people who need no direction or external reinforcement. Their driving force is hoarding, which shows up particularly as a detachment from emotions, a "stinginess" of feelings. 

Typical Comments "I have a really deep knowledge of this industry." "I hate having group meetings because they're generally a waste of time." "I have a good mind and I'm pretty perceptive." "I was a loner as a kid--I read a lot." 

First-Order Change Debating less and probing/listening more with the goal of mutually satisfying solutions, taking their role as coach more seriously, including giving attention to group process (meetings, teamwork), and affirming others' positive efforts. 

Second-Order (Transpersonal) Change Integrated action and thinking. Generosity, giving freely of oneself so energy flows outward. Some teachers refer to nonattachment, the ability to care without feeling confined, to seek knowledge without needing to hold onto it. 

Monday, January 11, 2016

Enneagram Style Six Patterns

Description At their best, people with this personality style are highly family-oriented in their personal lives and team-oriented leaders in business who bring out the best in everyone. They're energetic and attend to interdependent needs, which shows up in their language as thoughts about the group. When less self-aware, their driving force of fear is manifested as accusation of others (particularly those in authority), looking for hidden agendas, and self-doubt. They may procrastinate and/or blurt out their feelings with a kind of reckless courage (driven by their anxieties), and then worry they've shot themselves in the foot ̶ and they may have. The good news is that they challenge others in ways that hold them accountable; the bad news is that they're always looking for the bad news! 

Typical Comments "I've been loyal to this group for 25 years." " I don't think we have very competent senior management." "I wish we could work better as a team." "All my life, I've questioned my own ability." 

First-Order Change Getting a reality check on their fears, empowering themselves vs. blaming others, focusing more on possibilities vs. worries, and centering their verbal presentations on a central theme and several key points. 

Second-Order (Transpersonal) Change Trusting self and others, taking action. Courage, recognizing their own contribution to situations instead of playing victim. In more common terms, Sixes develop the courage of their own convictions. 

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Enneagram Style Seven Patterns

Description Charming and easy to talk to, highly evolved people with this personality style are the cheerleaders of any group because of their natural optimism. They focus on long-term perspective and possibilities. Equality is important to them, so  in business they sometimes work around organizational constraints. When less self-aware they can seem egotistical because they love to tell anecdotes and may forget to invite others to talk. They're sometimes perceived as lacking analytical ability because of oversimplifying or skating over the surface. Their driving force is gluttony, a seeking of pleasure to avoid pain; consequently they can be over-focused on enthusiasm and uneasy activity (the bad news is that they only want to hear the good news). 

Typical Comments "I always see the bright side of things." "I've found that if you understand a few basic principles, you can run just about anything." "I'm always the one to figure out what we'll do for fun." 

First-Order Change Contingency planning for problems, eliciting and accepting feedback, using negative reframing to counter their optimism, and disciplining themselves to follow through on their own development (they may perceive it as hard work).

Second-Order (Transpersonal) Change Realistically enthusiastic, visionary. 

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Enneagram Style Eight Patterns

Description Those with Enneagram style Eight who've paid attention to their own development are able to shoulder huge responsibility without having to control everything. Right beneath the surface they're soft-hearted. When this is tempered with their typical self-confidence, they can truly move mountains. Unfortunately, they may have a reputation as power mongers or tyrants because it's difficult for them to acknowledge any vulnerability. Their driving force is lust/excess. Often, they feel it's their responsibility to intervene in and direct situations, and they pursue power and control aggressively. They hold a value for justice -- as self-defined, and can have a bull-in-the-china-shop approach because of speaking in imperatives. 

Typical Comments "I've always been very responsible."  "I have a hard time asking for help -- I'll just charge ahead and do it myself." "I can't think of a time when I was afraid." "I had to grow up fast." 

First-Order Change Enhancing their ability to put themselves in others' shoes, collaborative negotiation and active listening skills, respecting and mentoring others. 

Second-Order (Transpersonal) Change Compassionate and just. Innocence, a shift to more altruistic and benign modes of operating, a focus on service to the world. 

(Click here for style Eight instinctual subtypes)

Friday, January 8, 2016

Enneagram Style Nine Patterns

Description Serene and centered, well-developed people with this personality style bring cooperation to any relationship or group. They're highly capable of dealing with others' problems and building consensus, have a natural tendency to honor diversity, and can get along with almost anyone. When less self-aware, they tend to merge with others' preferences and forget their own. Taking a strong position is particularly difficult, because they see all sides of an issue and because they're essentially non-aggressive. Their driving force is indolence -- not laziness in the usual sense (they're very hard workers) but out of touch with their own wishes, self-forgetting. Though quiet, when they get started they may tell epic tales (holding so many alternative views it's hard to focus). 

Typical Comments "I'm pretty easy-going. My career just kind of fell together, and in a very nice way." "I have CRS disease -- Can't Remember Shit!" "I try to pick the right moment to speak up in a meeting." "I didn't cause much trouble for my parents." 

First-Order Change Learning to speak up/confront others, recognizing passive-aggressive behavior/becoming more assertive, setting priorities/sticking to them, initiating change. 

Second-Order (Transpersonal) Change Focused, initiating, inclusive. Active engagement, the willingness to stay focused on their own purpose -- without distraction. Consequently Nines learn to embrace the conflict that is a necessary part of human interaction. 

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Style One Instinctual Subtypes

Self-Preservation (Worry)
Worried about survival, afraid to take a risk, obsessed about details. Others have to earn this subtype's love and support. They engage in either/or thinking, show anger covertly ("I was so concerned, afraid you'd had a wreck"). According to O'Hanrahan* the key word for this subtype is "anxiety," stemming quite literally from survival worries (self-preservation). Rules and structure are paramount but attention can focus too much on "What's out of place?" "Off-time" gets set aside in favor of working toward survival (can be overdone).
At best gets details, plans contingencies to avoid failure
At worst a passion for doing it right, checks and double-checks, covertly angry  
One-to-One/Sexual (Zeal)
In Spanish, zeal means the animal in heat. The most free of the One subtypes. More Eight-like. A passion for being righteous (vs. being right). Aggressive and possessive in personal relationships; also may be jealous of others who succeed, which feels safer than I want or I need. O'Hanrahan calls this subtype "the evangelist" because of their often passionate idealism. According to Palmer, this is a possessive subtype. In work settings this will show up as jealousy toward others who get promoted, who are more popular at work, or who are taken more seriously.
At best ensures quality processes and continuous improvement
At worst zealous, a passion for being righteous, invasive anger, aggressiveness
Social (Nonadaptability)
Anger acted out through correct causes and social ideals. Self-righteousness, narrow endorsement of own values. Entrenched in the tenets of the "right" ideological platform, with uncompromising opinions. O'Hanrahan emphasizes the importance of rules and responsibilities for this subtype. This subtype may see breaking or even bending the rules as a failure of moral character. They're somewhat more concerned about status than other One subtypes.
At best makes "right" choices, applies rules/standards to target success
At worst a passion for being right, punitive
 *    *    *
Peter O'Hanrahan: the subtypes "show how the ruling emotion of our type is expressed through our instinctual behavior." The above descriptions also draw from Helen Palmer's The Enneagram in Love & Work and workshops with Dr. Claudio Naranjo.

Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Style Two Instinctual Subtypes

Self-Preservation (Privileged)
More openly dependent. Pride resides as a child in "being the favorite in Daddy's or Mommy's eyes." Too soft, too much needing protection. Exerts power indirectly. Gives ineffective help because giving is expected to protect own privilege in return, and anger results when there's no reward (wants "best ticket," etc.).
At best kind and considerate, helps others grow and develop
At worst sense of entitlement, egocentric, pride in "being the favorite"
One-to-One/Sexual (Aggression/Seduction)
Every Two is seductive in one way or another, but this subtype is the specialist; aggressive in pursuit; becomes "attractive" by taking on partner's interests. Can lead partner around by the nose, even an Eight. Dependent in the moment of bonding, but quick to detach if not loved. More Eight-ish, wild, creative, original, adventuresome. Shows a seeming independence.
At best imaginative, innovative, adventuresome, convinces others to stretch
At worst manipulative, needs own ideas to dominate (but wants others to like it)
Social (Ambition)
The most pushy of Twos; like the Social Three but egocentric in a different way from the Three, with seduction through semblance of achievement, such as aligning own interests with those of a successful mentor. Wields influence indirectly; for example, by bringing people together who have common needs. Wants to impress. Not so warm as the other Two subtypes.
At best impressive, influential; helps shape service standards
At worst ambitious, propagandizing, power-hungry
 *    *    *
Peter O'Hanrahan: the subtypes "show how the ruling emotion of our type is expressed through our instinctual behavior." The above descriptions also draw from Helen Palmer's The Enneagram in Love & Work and workshops with Dr. Claudio Naranjo.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Style Three Instinctual Subtypes

      Self-Preservation (Security)
In their obsession for security, self-preservation Threes make themselves too sure of themselves, over-confident, image of having it all together. They reject the experience of insecurity. More selfish, demanding, abrasive, less pleasing than other Three subtypes. Value as a person is associated with material worth. Terrified of being incapacitated and unable to work.
At best self-confident, business-like, organizes people to meet goals
At worst too sure of self, demanding, abrasive, image of "having it all together"
One-to-One/Sexual (Masculinity/Femininity)
Seeks to be attractive to the other, focuses on sex appeal, attractive image. Seeking identity through a role, emphasis on form and surface; how does a leader take charge of a meeting, what does the best lover say, what books will people be talking about? Wants to be the top producer, ideal mate, etc.
At best personable, persuasive, convinces people to meet goals
At worst over-identifies with own image, driven to be charming to important others
Social (Prestige)
Desire for own values to be acknowledged, but pursuing values not their own; seeking social credentials. Possibly unaware of saying what the group wants to hear, of projecting the persona others look for. Because money is tied to reputation, it is spent in order to be known as a rich, successful person; important to look the part.
At best focused on success, models the way to meet goals
At worst too concerned with prestige, money, possessions, and/or recognition
 *    *    *
Peter O'Hanrahan: the subtypes "show how the ruling emotion of our type is expressed through our instinctual behavior." The above descriptions also draw from Helen Palmer's The Enneagram in Love & Work and workshops with Dr. Claudio Naranjo.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Style Four Instinctual Subtypes

Self-Preservation (Dauntless)
More self-sacrificing, almost a suicidal edge (life on the edge brings meaning to an otherwise mundane life). More self-contained than other Fours; denial of envy and fear of dependency lead to counter-dependency, autonomy. Instead of demanding from the outside world, they demand from themselves, don't play the victim. More a noble martyr. Can wreck what they get in order to stay on the edge.
At best systemically focused, advocate of risk/change, tenacious, self-demanding
At worst self-sacrificing, too autonomous, self-critical/unsure
One-to-One/Sexual (Competition)
Competitive anger (I want that, too!). An invigorating energy that cuts through depression. Envy in the sense of denying their inferiority (It's unfair that I don't have it!). Compete for approval (particularly from special people), engage in rivalry with people who get recognition they want. An arrogant position, wanting something so much they push until rejected. Very intensely desiring.
At best focused on distinctive competency, working to make the group/organization the best
At worst competitive, arrogant (misunderstood genius); angry envy, too intense
Social (Shame)
The shyest of the subtypes, Social Fours develop mechanisms to call negative attention to themselves. Feelings of shame arise from feeling unworthy. A passion for being in, wanting to be included, to receive favors, but feeling I'm nothing, I'm ugly, I'm silly. A sense of not meeting the standards others are capable of meeting. Shame disguised by image of being above the common throng.
At best empathic, authentic, appreciative, help others see outside the box
At worst too strong a desire to be with the "in crowd," too self-effacing, shy
 *    *    *
Peter O'Hanrahan: the subtypes "show how the ruling emotion of our type is expressed through our instinctual behavior." The above descriptions also draw from Helen Palmer's The Enneagram in Love & Work and workshops with Dr. Claudio Naranjo.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Style Five Instinctual Subtypes

Self-Preservation (Castle)
The most avoidant Fives. Shy, socially awkward, create private space because of inability to confront, don't want to show non-social side; economy equals independence. Feelings of scarcity underlie pride in doing with very little. Abstinence frees from personal entanglements required by getting more.
At best shy, thoughtful, intellectual, observer/theorizers who offer strategic models
At worst avoidant, socially awkward, rebellious, cruel, misanthropic, disdainful of ordinary mortals
One-to-One/Sexual (Confidence)
They look for the ultimate in a "confidante" with whom they share an understanding. A little more assertive and with more feeling than other Fives. A lust for intense, brief, meaningful encounters. More likely to compartmentalize by keeping emotional connections separate from each other (the element of secrecy adds a charge -- the private advisor, the personal moment, the secret love affair).
At best passionate thinkers who refine ideas through debate and ensure healthy dialogue
At worst arguing any side of the sake of debate, excessive trust in confidantes
Social (Totem)
Totems are symbols that encode messages about tribal knowledge. In this subtype a passionate search for information that symbolizes power -- ideas and people that influence the culture, explain human behavior, shape the history of ideas. Searching for the absolute. Intellectual mastery is very appealing.
At best professional, seeking alliances with like-minded people/organizations
At worst over-idealizes ideas, systems, people; personally cold
 *    *    *
Peter O'Hanrahan: the subtypes "show how the ruling emotion of our type is expressed through our instinctual behavior." The above descriptions also draw from Helen Palmer's The Enneagram in Love & Work and workshops with Dr. Claudio Naranjo.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

Style Six Instinctual Subtypes

Self-Preservation (Warmth)
Devoted to friendship. Soft, friendly, like an animal showing its underbelly (See how nice I am?). To show they're harmless they have to bottle up a lot of anger, seek someone who can protect them. An ongoing quest for reassurance. Fear disappears in the company of friends, and a change in affection is very threatening. Without a reality check, they fall prey to their fears, not realizing they're scaring themselves.
At best warm, charming, assures group camaraderie, champions subordinates at work, family at home 
At worst seeks protection from authority figures, overly focused on being "nice" (often a happy face)
One-to-One/Sexual (Strength and Beauty)
Often counterphobic. A drive to make action unfold, as if fear were not there. A push forward as if saying, You're not going to hold me back! Very powerful men and women, but a show of power that covers inner doubt. Intimidating like a bulldog but shy and sensitive underneath, and not very fulfilled in relationships. When afraid of people, caring can make them feel helpless.
At best strong and commanding, willing to speak the truth and confront with integrity
At worst driven to deny fear/insecurity, can look Eight-ish ("get them before they get you")
Social (Duty)
This subtype is about being protected, being in a warm environment, needing rules and becoming too dependent on rules. They contain fear through mutual obligation and commitment. Self-doubt is lessened by the power of collective authority, based on a system. Capable of enormous self-sacrifice; protectors of the underdog. Sometimes they pretend to be much more dutiful than they are.
At best dedicated to the cause or mission, will do whatever is required
At worst too secure with rules, authority based on system, the Devil's henchmen
 *    *    *
Peter O'Hanrahan:  the subtypes "show how the ruling emotion of our type is expressed through our instinctual behavior." The above descriptions also draw from Helen Palmer's The Enneagram in Love & Work and workshops with Dr. Claudio Naranjo.

Friday, January 1, 2016

Style Seven Instinctual Subtypes

Self-Preservation (Family)
Family doesn't need to be blood family; comforted by having own positive beliefs reflected back by people who share same values and sense of pleasure. Epicurean, sensuous, focused on tastes, colors, tactile stimulation. A little cynical like the Eight, not so gullible as other Seven subtypes. Pain is not felt directly; transforms lemons to lemonade. Good at business.
At best earthy, entrepreneurial, democratic/family-oriented, team-builder
At worst opportunistic, selfish, cynical, too pleasure-seeking, addictive (you name it)
One-to-One/Sexual (Suggestibility)
Prestidigitator, more the dreamer, the charmed charmer. The most narcissistic of the Seven subtypes. More enthusiastic (like being in love, a rush of initial attraction), manic. Not so much into pleasures of this world, more extraterrestrial. Commitment is difficult, feels limiting because of gluttony for one-to-one contacts. Riveted by brief encounters and magnetized by peoples' stories.
At best enthusiastic, aesthetic, in business ensures state-of-the-art focus on products/services
At worst narcissistic, manic, too easily enthused, not down-to-earth enough, cheers people on in too many directions
Social (Service or Sacrifice)
More ambitious, Six-like, willing to accept a lack of personal freedom in service of recognition, also very helpful/giving of love in search of recognition: sweetness in exchange for service. Creating an imaginary perfectionism, an idealized social order, forming long-range interests in the cause, the community, the church. Good people. Important to equalize authority: they hate the limitations of rules and equality ensures their personal freedom.
At best ambitious, responsible, in business keeps employees upbeat, focused on solutions
At worst a "do-gooder" perfectionist, sensationalist, "hyperactive"
 *    *    *
Peter O'Hanrahan:  the subtypes "show how the ruling emotion of our type is expressed through our instinctual behavior." The above descriptions also draw from Helen Palmer's The Enneagram in Love & Work and workshops with Dr. Claudio Naranjo.