"Even though one type will dominate as we begin studying ourselves using the tool of the Enneagram, all the fixations are present in every ego. . . if we are genuinely interested in spiritual learning and liberation though the Enneagram, we need to study all the fixations--their cores and their shells--as they manifest in our lives." A.H. Almaas, Keys to the Enneagram: How to Unlock the Highest Potential of Every Personality Type
The driving force at point Two is pride, which is attached to a self-image as helper. When boxed in at point Two, we need to be in the middle of things, giving help and advice whether others want it or not. There is a sense of entitlement and use of manipulation to influence others. If feeling betrayed at Two, one may even become vindictive.
When more self-observing at this point, we are aware of personal needs, providing balance, allowing us to give freely, without expectation of return. We are interpersonally oriented, unconditionally caring, deriving deep satisfaction from seeing and encouraging others' development.
"I think it's important to always focus on what we need to be doing to serve others." "Was that helpful?" "Of all the people in the organization the President could have called, he called me." "Both of my parents were alcoholics, and I took care of them from a very early age."
Engaging the Observing Self and Releasing the Two Fixation:
It's important that we learn to see our patterns as they emerge, without judgment, to notice and accept as they come and go without shame or denial or trying to shut them down, to see how the fixed personality reactions show up and choose different behaviors. From this Observing Self we'll begin to see the patterns loosening and dropping away.
Within that context, some actions that my clients and I have found helpful at point Two:
- notice when focusing over-much on the other and acknowledge our own needs,
- observe ways we contribute to our own workload and say no,
- set clear boundaries with everything that might be asked of us instead of automatically trying to please another,
- observe subtle and/or manipulative methods to get what we want and, instead, ask for what we want more openly,
- look for evidence of pride, stay with and learn from it without acting with pride as our base,
- notice when "strings" are attached to our affection and releasing the strings,
- rejoicing in true feelings of compassion (which has no expectation),
- celebrating evidence of humility.